The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine
by Mitchie Love
Summary: Follow Cat through her journey in Hollywood Arts as she grows as a person and an artist. Rated T for safety.
1. Pilot

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( Pilot )

Backstage was buzzing with entertainers getting ready to get on stage and perform. There was an air of nervousness around the entire perimeter that made the air feel a lot harder to breathe. Well, not for me, anyways. I had already gone out and performed. Everything had been almost perfect during my performance except for the fact that I lost my shoe in the process. Right now, all I was doing was helping one of my friends with the curtains and such before heading back to make-up. The showcase had gone great so far. Simply perfect.

Okay, so there was some techinical difficulties here and there but no one had royally messed up yet. Jade was kind of annoyed right now because Trina was up next. Usually, Trina Vega managed to drag the show down for the entire time that she was on stage. The showcase was a big deal in Hollywood Arts. Lots of talent scouts were sitting outside, waiting to pick one of us out for something at any moment. It was really exciting and brought a lot more tension than usual.

"Something's wrong with Trina Vega," I heard Sinjin saying somewhere, standing with a clipboard filled up with line-ups for the show. Trina was speaking in silly noises in front of a mirror that made me giggle slightly. Jade turned around and looked at me but I couldn't read the expression because I was trying not to laugh too hard. Trina's tongue was completely swollen. Now, when I say swollen, I mean _swollen_. To the point when one of the upcoming performers I was doing make-up for hypothesized that she had injected it with botox.

I simply shook my head as everyone buzzed and tried to figure out what was going on. I nearly drew a whole line across my performer's forehead when some girl came in screaming and everyone tried to drag her on stage.

"Amateur," I heard one of the other make-up artists say under her breath.

I watched as almost half of wardrope ran out at one of the teachers' command.

"What's going on?" Jade asked, particularly irritated. Some music started playing, signaling that they probably got whoever the screaming girl was to perform. Curiosity got the better of me as I stepped out to watch from backstage, taking Jade with me. Trina Vega was dancing in her dress with her tongue still swollen as Screaming Girl danced and sang on stage. The girl honestly wasn't half-bad. I think even Jade saw some talent in her because she was watching her intently.

Once the girl was done with her performance, which was actually pretty good, I found myself clapping for her and turned back to find Jade disappeared to find Beck somewhere. I decided to let the crowd swallow me as well so I could pack all my make-up things and boycott the afterparty. I wasn't feeling much like going to a party today. My brother was acting up again and my mom and dad had decided for him to go back to the special hospital again.

I began to pick up my brushes from the table, placing them inside of my bag one by one, then worked on the blush and sorts.

"Cat, hey!" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around to find Robbie and Rex, who by the way, is a puppet, but doesn't like to be called that. Robbie was in Hollywood Arts because they liked the whole thing "act" of a ventraloquist who's puppet interrupted him all the time. Little did everyone know that Robbie literally thought that Rex was another person and not a puppet. "Are you going to the party tonight."

_Shit. _"Well, my brother is in the hospital so I was kind of hoping to see him," I said lamely. I don't know what it was, but I tended to blurt out things I shouldn't say to people. Well, Robbie, Beck, Jade and Andre weren't _people_. I knew that I could trust them with whatever was going on at my house because I had already had a lot of blunders with them before.

Robbie looked slightly disappointed. "See? I told you she wasn't going to want to go," Rex scolded.

I tilted my head slightly as Robbie told his puppet to shut up and then said goodbye to me, stepping out of the room and arguing with Rex all the same. Honestly, I didn't want to hurt Robbie's feelings, but I really did hope that I could persuade my dad to let me see my brother at the hospital. I missed him already because I knew he'd be gone long.

* * *

><p>Turns out that I didn't get to persuade my dad after all. Instead, I passed my time watching people update their Slap pages with pictures of the party. I did my hair a way that I am absolutely never using again also, by the way.<p>

Actually, I thought school was going to be horrible. Normally, I tried to keep an optimistic mind, but I decided that today I was at least allowed to feel pessimistic on the inside. It caused me to snap at the new girl, who had been Screaming Girl, by the way. Her name was Tori. I told her she was great on the showcase, she commented on my name and I basically had a defensive fit.

I'm great with people sometimes...

Anyway, she was in my acting class! We were doing some improv and as the scene progressed and Robbie and I were basically starting to be irrelevant in the scene, Jade poured coffee all over Tori. Now, I didn't know until afterwards that Tori had been rubbing Beck. I really hope that it doesn't mean what I first thought it meant because then I would have been mad at both Beck and Tori.

Tori was a nice girl, really. I'm glad that I saw her next class because Jade was really mean to her. I'm glad she didn't let that put her down. She kissed Beck, which Jade was really upset about, but I think it was fair game since they were in a scene and I wouldn't be able to think of anything else that started with K. But that's just me. Yet, if I put myself in Jade's shoes, I can see why she would be upset. Maybe I wouldn't like someone kissing my boyfriend either. Not that anyone has ever tried to kiss my boyfriend.

My boyfriend isn't my boyfriend yet, to be fair. He's sort of this guy I just met who was really nice. His name is Danny. He doesn't go to Hollywood Arts so I doubt that any of my friends know him. He's really cute and I honestly like him a lot. I hope that I can call him my boyfriend soon. We hold hands sometimes but that's it.

As for my brother, I found out he's going to be in the hospital for a few weeks depending on how he does. If the doctors see some progress, he might be out by the end of the month. Hopefully he decides to behave and doesn't go back there anymore. I'll miss him too much.

* * *

><p><strong>The next chapters will probably be more exciting. This is basically going to be what is going on with Cat during the currency of the Victorious episodes. There are going to be chapters in between filled with flashbacks or things happening in between the episodes.<strong>


	2. The Bird Scene

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( The Bird Scene )

Seeing Tori trying to discover the secret of the Bird Scene was so amusing. It reminded of how I had been when I was first trying to figure out. Except, I couldn't ask anyone because I barely knew anyone that had already done it. See, my group of friends was limited to only freshman and so they were all trying to figure out what the secret to the Bird Scene was. In acting class, Sikowitz assigned it. He made us all memorize the lines and come to class the next week with it ready.

Some people had to take it a few more times than others. I think there was this kid who actually didn't pass it until the end of the year. But anyways, Sikowitz didn't have time to see us all individually and so he would just call our names up in class, make us go on stage and whoever said the five magic words failed without explanation. I was fortunate enough to be one of the first students to pass. I passed my second time. I failed the first time because I hadn't been confident in my work and abilities and I didn't even tell Sikowitz what I had thought about it.

"Cat, how do you think you did?" Sikowitz asked, drinking out of his coconut.

"I think I did okay," I told him, uncertainly. "What do you think?"

"What do you mean exactly?" he raised his eyebrow at me, as if testing me.

"Did I do it right?"

See? _Did I do it right? _You don't ever ask that question. You have to be confident about your work and your interpretation. There is no _wrong_.

"Cat," he said to me, looking at me straight in the eye with a slightly disappointed smile on his face. "You failed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said defensively.

"Try again tomorrow and do it right. Rob-"

"I don't deserve to fail," I cut in, frustrated.

Let me just say that I had never in my life answered back to a teacher that way. Actually, I don't know what brought me to it.

He looked at me, surprised and slightly taken aback. "Why not, Cat? What makes you so special?"

"Well, I worked really hard. I was in character. I used everything that you have taught us the past few weeks and I spent a lot of time on it and I consider I did a good job. If you don't like it, then fine. I'll do it again just because you're asking me to. I just don't think it's right that you're failing me because I'm not interpreting it the same way as you."

Sikowitz smiled at me and said, "See me after class."

I was so scared that I was probably going to get in trouble I simply shut my mouth. He smiled at me simply and then called out the next person's name. Still, I was practically drowning in my own angst at that moment. Could they kick me out of the school? Could I be blackballed?

After class, I went to see Sikowitz. I began to apologize for the way I spoke to him but he told me to stop.

"You won't be doing the Bird Scene tomorrow."

"Why not?" I asked, nervously running my fingers through my hair.

"Because you passed. And you don't need to apologize to me."

I almost choked. "I did?" I was about to ask why and then I realized what the whole point was. I had been right all along.

After that, we got to start the audition process and I got to actually be in productions. Freshmen were rarely ever cast as leads. Most of the time, we stuck to the background and told to watch and learn. As much as it frustrated a lot of people, it did help us grow a lot more as actors. By the end of the year, it was more normal to see a freshman playing at least second-in-command or a lead if they were considered good enough.

Most of the freshman that got the lead that been doing theater for years, though. Some even had professional experience already. Roles are _never_ handed to you in Hollywood Arts or anywhere for that matter. That's one of the biggest lessons they were trying to teach us Freshman year. Actually throughout the course of our years, some people still were being taught those things.

I'll be honest and say that I resented the people that constantly always got the leads or parts in a play and I didn't. I didn't feel it was something very fair but apparently those people "earned" it. However, I got to talk to one of the Juniors that constantly got leads and he told me that being the lead always wasn't as fulfilling as everyone thought. He told me that if you worked hard enough for something, you would most likely get it. He even said that competition was a good thing to have in order to grow. He showed me how to self-critic myself and everything.

He graduated from Hollywood Arts already. You could see him in some movies sometimes but I won't tell you his name.

When I looked at Tori, I thought about all the things that I had learned and how she would learn them soon. It was strange thinking it because I felt like a little old lady even though Tori is actually a bit older than me. Yet, I couldn't help it.

On one of the days where Tori had to do the Bird Scene, she had a pair of handcuffs. She told me that it was going to be a game or something. I was really curious to see what this game was and so I agreed to do it. When she offered me the candy, I couldn't say no. I had to take it. Then it started burning and I realized that she had tricked me. I understood her motives and I forgave her almost instantly but honestly, being handcuffed to a railing is not fun.

One of the janitors had to go get Tori to have her uncuff me. If I hadn't been the annoying little artificial red head in film class, the teacher would have probably never asked herself where I was and send someone to look for me. She had sent Jade and Jade had found the janitor who later called Tori.

I think the reason I mostly forgot about that incident was because that day had been particularly nice. I went to see my brother at the hospital and but apparently he hadn't been behaving as the doctors had asked. It was pretty depressing that he probably wasn't going to be out very soon but I least I got to see him. He looked strange and pale and he was pretty absent a lot of the time. Maybe it had been his special medication. Honestly, I didn't even know anymore.

"How are you doing?" I asked him, reaching out for his hand.

He tilted his head to the side and gave me a smile that didn't seem to reach his eyes. Moving some of my hair behind my ear, he looked at me longingly.

"Thank you for coming to see me."

"You know it's not a problem," I smiled back at him.

"Cat, tell me the truth, okay?" he squeezed my hand slightly and my stomach churned. I knew what was coming. "Is he still coming over?"

"Please don't ask me that."

I turned away from him and withdrew my hand. I didn't want to remember.

"I'm sorry I'm not there to put the bastard in his place. He had no right," he looked down. "Cat, don't let this change you, okay? Always look at the bright side. Remain innocent, okay?"

He didn't reach for my hand as I thought he would. I didn't know if to be disappointed or relieved. I was sick of that facade. I was sick of being fake and of people underestimating me because I seemed dumb to them. Yet, I followed his advice every single time he gave it to me. Just because it was just what I needed to numb the pain long enough.

My eyes were getting wetter and wetter before I heard his voice again. "Promise you'll come back."

I turned towards him and looked him in the eye, blinking the tears away. I took his hand kissed his cheek. "I won't leave you. I'm not giving up on you."

How could I ever give up on him? The one person that didn't see me as the youngest or as the dumb one? The one who ever took the time to ask me if I was feeling fine? I owed my world to him.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you so much to StrawberryAngel143 and Jeremy Shane for your reviews! It really does mean a lot. (: There wasn't really much I could do with the Bird Scene episode so I actually paralleled things. I added a bit more about Cat's brother, also.<strong>


	3. Stage Fighting

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( Stage Fighting )

One of my favorite classes at Hollywood Arts is stage fighting. It's a class we get about three times each year at Hollywood Arts if you're not taking the class like Beck is. We learn all sorts of fighting styles and how to apply them on stage, making them look realistic. Of course, every once in a while, people get hurt in this class because the slapping and punching is actually done to a point where it's really close to your face. My favorite exercise is the one where we have to hold our hands out in front of us, have someone pretend to kick us in the back and then we fall onto the floor.

For practice, we had these safety pads on so it wouldn't hurt. One time, Jade was directing a film for our film class and we couldn't get the protection on such short notice so we had to use this mat but I didn't hit the mark where I should have and I hit the floor really hard. If I hadn't had followed the procedure, I would have fallen flat on my face. Luckily, only my arms were the only thing that bruised and I was so in character it honestly only kept me in the moment.

I would tell you about my first ever Stage Fighting class, but I honestly can't remember much but people falling on the floor. It's not exciting to talk about unless you've done it before.

Moving on, this was going to be one of those rare Stage Fighting classes here at Hollywood Arts. I was even chosen to demonstrate how to react to getting "punched" in the face. It was really fun, honestly. Different people after that got paired up including Tori and Jade. They had a week to perform. For some reason, I had a weird feeling something was going to happen. Even Tori did. I half-expected Jade to punch her on the face by accident, but instead Tori had taken the strike. It took me a while to recover from the shock and I rushed to Tori, asking her why she had hit Jade in the face.

Now, I don't know if any of you know this, but Jade is like a sister to me. See, she and I met at orientation for HA. Technically, Jade had only been there to see the nice, bubbly side of me that dyed her hair like a red velvet cupcake for some strange reason. At first, she didn't seem to like me very much but my mother started talking to her and so we were a bit forced to socialize and we became friends pretty fast. I felt like I understood a lot of what Jade was going through and she seemed to see something in me.

That's why I wanted to know why Tori had hit Jade in the face and gotten her eye all swollen. Never had I thought of Tori as a remotely violent person until that day. It was a side of her that I had never thought I'd see, actually. Tori seemed like this sweet girl. Honestly, I had a whole thinking session that night trying to parallel her to me and I asked myself a lot of questions I probably would have been better off not asking myself.

Luckily, a call from Danny saved me a whole lot of thinking for that night. He invited me to go out with him that day with his friends. Honestly, I felt really weird agreeing to go but I needed to get out and I couldn't miss any opportunity that he offered me. Plus, my mom and dad were with some of their friends downstairs and I was starting to get pretty anxious.

The night out with Danny hadn't been anything special. Except that we kissed inside of a Forever 21 behind a rack. I could feel myself starting to trust him more and more. Almost innocently, you could say. He was a sweet boy, he treated me right and I felt I didn't have to be the little dumb girl with him at all. Of course, I had my moments were I purposely acted cute to get his attention, but that was pretty much it. This relationship was beginning to evolve and I wanted to be on the ride for as long as I could. Who knew?

The next day at school, I was on the clouds pretty much. The only people that knew about Danny at the time were Jade and Beck. You can't blame me for that, either. Beck and Jade are sort of a package deal for some things. With relationship advice (if you get them separated), they are pretty good. Plus, I have no problem telling Beck anything. I trust him as much as I trust Jade but Jade will always have the right to know more personal things because she understood.

"Get on with it already," Jade nudged me in film class as we talked over our storyboard. I couldn't tell if she was annoyed or if she was interested in my story. I'm never too sure about what Jade means, so I always go with the optimistic view. She looked down and frowned at the storyboard. It was a bit awkward staring at the black eye. There was something _strange_ about it. "This is too happy, Cat."

"Well, we kissed but nothing too big," I bit my lip and looked over the storyboard. I couldn't think of anything that involved giraffes or elephants at that moment, so I went with my gut. "Make Kayla say no. It'll create more conflict between her and Eli."

"He didn't ask you anything else?" she seemed really surprised. Sometimes I forgot that Jade was a teenager and not a vampire. "I don't know about that. Our time frame is really small. Maybe they should just be cut out. They're too happy for my liking. I almost want to puke at how cute they are."

I laughed at her comment. "There's nothing wrong with that."

She shook off my comment and smiled slightly. Our complete attention was back on the project now and we began to discuss more. I asked her to put many silly things in there and she snapped at me, saying that she wouldn't. Yet, she gave in to one of my ideas at the end of the period. Sometimes, it was really fun watching Jade cave whenever I asked her to do something enough.

I volunteered to turn in the storyboard as Jade rushed out to find Beck. There was still something bothering me about the black eye... It reminded me a lot of the one she had drawn in make-up class, strangely. Was Jade using make-up on her eye?

As I walked into the cafeteria during lunch after getting my food, I got a glimpse of Robbie trying to get Trina to go out with him again. In one swift move, she spilled her skim milk all over him. Honestly, I thought that he would be over that by now. Apparently, I was wrong.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Trina's in denial."

I don't know why I even hoped he had gotten over it. "You're still on that?"

"Trina loves me!" he announced with his mouth full, trying to use his fork as emphasis.

"It was a stage kiss! She was acting!"

"You didn't feel the kiss," he stated with his mouth full, as if it actually helped his case. "A girl can't fake that kind of heat. I don't care if she tells a thousand times that it doesn't mean anything-"

Quickly, I put my hand behind his neck as I had done with Danny and kissed him right on the lips. Obviously, he kissed right back.

"See?" I said as if I had taught him some big lesson.

"I want you to meet my parents."

I almost choked. "Robbie! It was fake!"

It turned into a whole argument about how I should meet his parents and he called me his girlfriend for a split second. The only thing I could think of was "breaking up" with him and saying that we should remain friends. Then, I grabbed the rest of my lunch and tried to find someone else to sit with. Don't get me wrong, I honestly love Robbie (and Rex?) to death but I wasn't going to let me him live in that illusion.

It's not just because he's my friend. I mean, I don't want to break Robbie's heart. It's just that Robbie is not the kind of person that you want to crush on you. He's sweet, yes, but he rubs off as obsessive and a little desperate. It seems like a bit of an unfair statement and I totally recognize that it is, but Robbie has his little issues like we all have. I'm not doubting at all that something could happen. I just honestly don't see him that way. See, I think that Robbie is going to make a great boyfriend for someone in the future.

Shortly, we discovered that everything Jade had done had been all an act. It was such a Jade thing to do. I understood the reasons that she had done it, but I still sort of wish that she hadn't. She had made look Tori really bad in front of everyone, caused her to get a lower grade and detention. Whatever happened after that, I have no idea, honestly. It's between Jade and Tori. My personal opinion is that they probably had a tiny truce moment or something. Nothing that lasted very long because Jade still manages to rant about her.

When I got home, I set up my computer to begin editing one of the videos I had made for the Slap. For some reason, there was nothing more that I loved doing than editing. In other words, editing was this stress-reliever for me. It got my mind off of everything because it was so detailed and it asked to be done by a complete perfectionist.

When I was almost done, my cellphone decided to ring. Picking it up, I put it to my ear, not even checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Cat? I can't get home until later. Someone is going to knock on the door right now and I need you to open it for them. They're coming to pick something up," my dad's voice said through the phone.

"Kay kay," I told him, typing a reply to an IM that had popped up on the screen. "When's Mom coming?"

"She's coming with me. I have to go. I'm driving. Bye."

I didn't even get to say goodbye before he had already hung up the phone. Almost as if on cue, someone rang the doorbell. Getting up from my computer, I walked down the stairs and opened the door.

All the mobility in my body was gone. It was like I was petrified. I stifled a cry as the man I knew too well walked into the house.

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><p><strong>Thank you to Jeremy Shane, donthatewhatyoucantintimidate 7, Live . Write . Love01, StrawberryAngel143 and The Dragon of the North for your reviews!<br>**

**So turns out I had to order this because I thought I got the timeline wrong and it turns out I got it right the first time. So there might be a few errors but I tried to get rid of all of them.  
><strong>

**StrawberryAngel143: You're actually pretty close! I'm glad you caught what I was hinting at there. (:**


	4. The Birthweek Song

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( The Birthweek Song )

I crossed my arms and exhaled a bit too sharply. The man turned around to look at me curiously and I fake-coughed to make it look like I was just sick or something. He obviously didn't remember anything of what he had done to me. Yet, that didn't make it okay. I had been humiliated to the point where I wasn't sure I could carry on. My _brother_ had been humiliated to the point where he was starting to act out. He needed a psychologist, medication, he'd been arrested more times than I can count. I highly doubted that this man didn't remember a thing. It had to be an act because how could he do something like that to both of us and be unaware of it?

Keeping my distance from him and trying to keep my voice natural, I asked, "What did you leave here?"

"Just my coat," he glanced at me for a minute and I could see something in his eyes. The guy knew what he had done. He faked not knowing and then he goes and checks me out in front of my face. I scoffed, wanting to be full-on rude to him. I didn't care if he knew my dislike of him. I was already tired enough of faking it. "I don't know where I left it."

Glancing at the coat hanger, I pointed to it with my thumb and raised an eyebrow, "Maybe, just maybe, you left it where all the coats go."

He looked at me up and down once more and then grabbed the coat from the hanger. There was this strange spark in his eyes as he looked at me, opened the door and left. I rushed to it and locked it, breathing hard. There was nothing I wanted to do more than break down at moment. Actually, I wanted to die. Never had I felt more disgusted in my life. My legs were shaking and my hands felt like they were about to freeze over. I had never missed breathing air as much as I did at that moment.

Finding some strength, I managed to stand and go back into my room, throwing myself on the bed and staring at one of my many stuffed animals. Mr. Giraffe, I simply called him. Hugging it, I felt myself start to sob but I still refused to let the tears fall. There was no way this man was going to ruin my life. There was no way. All I had to do was act. Simple as that. Act. Be Cat, the dumb artificial red-head. I grabbed my camera and turned it on.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I could feel the sun rising up on the sky and hitting me straight in the face like it were some sort of bat. Yes, I loved the sun, but did it have to choose such abrupt awakenings? Getting up from my bed and finally getting dressed, I walked downstairs to find no one else was awake yet. That was probably something good for me because I felt like walking to school that day. Just in case they got worried, I wrote a note to my parents.<p>

As I headed outside, I looked up the sky, the clouds were covering the sun but I could still feel it on my skin. Cars were rushing back and forth past me.

I didn't live that far from Hollywood Arts. That was part of the reason why my parents wanted me to go there. The only other school I could have gone to was not as close.

The good thing about getting to school early was that you could go into the stage for as long as you wanted. Well, as long as you weren't late. I liked to sit there with my guitar on one of the stools and sing to no one. Most of the time, I improvised lyrics with premade melodies I had fabricated myself at random moments. Since I didn't always carry my guitar around with me, I used the one that was checked out to me in the beginning of year that day.

Sitting down on the stool, I sat on the steps and began to improvise. Some people also got there early. Most of them were the art students that were drawing pictures and such so they never minded my playing. At least I didn't think they did since they never said anything. I loved to watch the one boy that always drew in the front row because it seemed like he was making magic as he sketched. It was beautiful.

I loved Hollywood Arts because it was filled with people who loved everything that they were doing and worked hard for it. Sometimes, you saw people shooting videos in the Asphalt Cafe or people saying their lines under their breath. The one talent that I always envied was the people that could draw. A whole new world could be made by simply moving the pencil in different directions and I thought that was beautiful.

With acting or singing or writing, you imagined those things and felt them and somehow tried to give them to people, but they always have a different vision or choose to skip descriptions. When drawing, you show them exactly what you mean, what you see. The only thing I could do was sketch little figures onto storyboards.

I might have been there for a while and lost notion of time, because the first bell rang and I had to run to put my instrument back into the locker and then run to my actual locker to get my books for class. Tori was clicking angrily at her computer in the distance and proceeded to explain to everyone about Trina's Birthweek and what she should get her. The talk expanded until lunch, where Robbie asked if someone would like to go with him to visit his grandmother and teach her how to use a computer.

I agreed to go but the experience was absolutely awful. Never had I met someone who was so rude in my entire life. I never wanted to go back there again. She had judged me, asked me if I hated my mother, things that were too personal. When Robbie had asked me to go to his grandmother's house once more I gave him a sharp no. He seemed really disappointed and instead offered me to play what we both called "baby golf." It was really an inside joke.

Turns out that he tricked me. See, apparently it's very, very easy to trick a sixteen-year-old girl who dyed her hair because of a red velvet cupcake. When I was I going to learn that you can't trust anyone?

Anyway, the whole thing turned into a fight about the color of my hair and how it had to do with my psychological problems. I told her that they didn't but she kept insisting to the point that she started yelling at me. I was sick of it. Why should I let someone decide to label me something that I wasn't? To judge me? Never.

Robbie took me home that night and apologized about his grandmother. Obviously, it was not his fault and so I forgave him. Yet, the fight with his grandma took a lot out of me. I started wondering if what she said had been true. Yes, I had psychological problems, technically but did they influence me to change the color of my hair? No.

Suddenly, I heard a noise come from the window. Jumping up, I turned to look and there was Danny, climbing in through my window. What the heck?

"Danny?" I laughed as he sat on my bed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going on a trip with my friends," he told me, out of breath. He grabbed my hand. "I want you to cut school and come with me."

"I can't cut school, Danny. My parents will kill me."

"Come on. The road trip is only like, three days. You can ask your parents. Are you doing a play or anything?"

"No," I said. To be honest, I really, really wanted to go to this trip he was talking about. "I'll ask."

"You're amazing, Cat."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it, then went on to kiss my lips.

I interlocked our fingers and laughed softly. "So are you."

* * *

><p><strong>Firstly, thanks to HarryLove47, StawberryAngel143, Jeremy Shane, Live. Write. Love01. (:<strong>

**Secondly, sorry I took so long to get this up. I went to a Starkid concert on Wednesday and I was in Orlando until Thursday because the concert was there. Friday and Saturday, I wasn't feeling so well. So there you go. xD  
><strong>


	5. Jade Dumps Beck

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( Jade Dumps Beck )

I've slept on the floor, on a desk during class, on top of a chair, an old sofa, on a pile of Barbie dolls and on a floating mattress in a pool but never have I fallen asleep with a bunch of teenagers clustered together in a car. When I opened my eyes, a pain shot up my arm and I felt like I had no legs. I even had to look and see if they were still there. They were crushed by one of Danny's friends, while my arm was cramped awkwardly against Danny's chest.

The windows of the car were open, but since this is California, of course I was soaking in sweat that I wasn't even sure was mine. It must have been about a hundred degrees outside. Where did we go? The sun?

I turned around and poked Danny's cheek with my finger, hoping that he would wake-up. When he didn't, I pinched his nose and watched him jump and open his eyes. Running his fingers through his hair groggily, he pulled an arm around my waist.

"Good morning to you, too," he pulled the other arm around my waist and hugged me close. I really wish he hadn't because I felt absolutely gross right now. "Sorry about our plans not going the way we wanted them to."

"It's okay," I yawned, unable to stretch thanks to the one hundred-something pound boy who had decided my legs were some sort of pillow. "What time is it?"

Danny didn't even make an effort to tell me what the time was. Simply, he shrugged and slowly pushed his friend off my legs, opening the door and helping me out of the car before he went out, too. The sun was disgustingly bright today and I could feel it burn through my skin. As much as the day looked absolutely beautiful, I couldn't help the fact that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or, if you love puns, the wrong side of the car.

Yet, I knew that as soon as I could find somewhere to cool off, I would be completely fine. Somehow, the image of cold water and air conditioning lifted my spirits a bit and so I turned to look at Danny and gave him a smile. Slightly confused, he smiled back at me and opened the door to the passenger's seat so I could climb in. Apparently, Danny had the same idea I did. The faster we could find somewhere to cool off, the better.

Turning on the radio, he put the volume as high as he could. No one even stirred in the back seat, which was pretty impressive to me. I loved listening to music and feel the air whip my hair and hit my face whenever I had the chance. That's why I loved California. It was the best place to be. Not only was it the place that offered all of my dreams and hopes a chance, but it was the place where the sun always shone. As much as I sometimes hated that big ball of fire, I knew that if it didn't shine, I probably wouldn't either. Singing along with the radio, I smiled to myself, those thoughts running through my mind.

Maybe I would have remained in that moment forever if it had not been for my phone vibrating in my pocket. Since it was Jade, I honestly couldn't not answer. I lowered the music, giving Danny a small smile of apology before picking it up. Jade knew that I was away and there was no reason on why she would call me unless she needed it.

"Jade?" I said, already wearing my confidential tone.

"I dumped Beck!" she basically screamed into the phone. "And I want him back!"

"Relax, Jade," trying to calm her down with my voice somehow. "Give him some time. I'm positive he loves you."

"He likes her!"

"Tori?"

"No! Nevermind, Cat!"

She hung up the phone right there. She must have been really upset if she was willing to hang up on me like that. Jade took everything that involved Beck way too seriously, in my opinion. Well, I always took boys to an extreme sometimes, too. If I try to see things from Jade's side, however, I knew that Beck was the only person that she somehow needed. It was like Beck held the secret to her survival or something. Actually, I wished I had someone like Beck, but usually I wasn't taken too seriously by any boys. Yes, I admit that it hurt a little bit. All these girls had boys that were worth it and I was in and out of relationships or going on date with so many guys that if they were to make a Cheaper by The Dozen movie where all the kids had kids, the cast would look small next to the number. Danny had been the one that had decided to take his time with me.

If he was even interested. Sure, Danny kissed me all the time. He smiled at me and held my hand but how could one know if you're there because the guy feels like they're smarter than you? Because you make them feel better about themselves? That's all I had ever been. Some sort of self-esteem booster for everyone and it pained me a bit. Was I even any real competition to anyone?

These thoughts brought me back to my audition at Hollywood Arts. How did I even get in?

For hours and hours, I had prepared a monologue, a juggling routine, a song from a musical combined with a dance routine in order to get in. I had done everything because I had to get into the school and I had. Hollywood Arts was chalked full of talented people and I was starting to wonder if I was just mediocre. Everything that happened made me question my abilities. Why did Tori get the lead and not me? Why did I not get picked to be in the play? Why did she?

In all reality, I was confused. Normally, I didn't feel this way. Only sometimes, in my worst moments. Except, this time was not the right one. Danny was in the car seat next to me and I had to be with him at that moment. It didn't matter how many things anyone had won over me because for Danny, I was _perfect_. Enough. That's all I needed to be.

Glancing at Danny, I found myself staring at him for a while, trying to figure things out.

Finally, I gave up on that and just decided to enjoy the rest of the trip. Except, I sort of didn't. Danny's friends sort of excluded me a bit, truly. It got annoying to the point where my sensitivity was my worst enemy. I ended up crying because it all reminded me of when I was in Middle School and Danny decided to take me home after that. The amount of times I apologized to him were endless but he told me he understood and that maybe I should have gotten to know his friends better before doing that. He said he'd talk to them about that and even though I begged him not to, he did. Just like my dad had.

Hopefully, I hadn't blown my chances with him completely. If I had, then I really would be Jade without Beck.

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><p><strong>Thanks to The Dragon of the North, StawberryAngel143, and Jeremy Shane for you reviews. :D<br>**

**You guys are seriously so nice to me. I don't even deserve it. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, put this story on alert, etc. It means the world to me. **

**Anyway, I'm starting to set up things for a certain chapter. It's kind of hard to think up things for episodes in which Cat is absent and somehow have them revolve around the plot of the show.  
><strong>


	6. Tori The Zombie

The Inner Thoughts of Cat Valentine

( Tori The Zombie )

My make-up assignment had gone terrible. I do mean horrible. We were supposed to do something scary and here I was, sitting in front of my model, his make-up making him look like a rabbit. Honestly, clowns scared me and so I wanted to do something that imitated that sort of thing. Yeah, it went all wrong, as I already told you. It came to the point where I begged and begged Tori to be my model so I could do my make-up on her. Well, it worked.

Before getting to her house, I was at the store buying some supplies with my mom. You see, my mom didn't think that I was ready to drive yet and so she decided that she would drive me to Tori's house and I got Trina to agree to drive me back. People actually don't know this, but I was kind of friends with Trina after this whole incident. She was a very nice girl even though she thought she was ridicolously talented. To be fair, Trina is a gifted actress but doesn't seem to think that's enough and wants to add singing into the equation.

Well anyway, I was beginning to buy the supplies with my mom, getting new brushes and such in order to be able to do the mask on Tori. How could I ever thank Tori for doing this for me! I felt excited but slightly disappointed because my Zombie idea seemed a bit cliche. Then again, I had to work with what I had. As my voice teacher says, "Either you do something the right way or you don't do it at all."

"Cat, hurry up," my mom started. Eventually, she kept telling me this so much that it turned into an argument and I was starting to get annoyed. Plus, whenever my mom starts to push me, I get even more defensive than I already am and it's hard to make the walls come down afterward. A lot of the things she told me got a overly sensitive reply that made ladies look at me in that disapproving way that parents give you.

When I was getting the glue, my mom had already told me that if I wasn't in the car in two minutes, she would leave me there. So, without looking, I grabbed the glue, threw it inside my little basket and ran for the cashier. Little did I know what kind of glue I had actually gotten. Running back to the car, my mom finally drove me all the way to the Vega's home. I got with my big make-up case and set up as soon as Tori let me in.

Still a bit on edge, I snapped at Andre in the process. Luckily, my friends already know to be patient with me because of me being so overly sensitive. It came with the whole act, apparently. Even Jade cut me some slack, actually.

Tori sat in front of me. It was impossible to ever visualize Tori as ugly. She had her beautiful high cheekbones, perfect skin and gorgeous hair that would have made Rapunzel jealous. Correction. Such perfect hair it made me jealous. It was like Tori was the epitome of perfection. A pretty girl with a whole lot of luck and raw talent. Never could I think of Tori as a monster or even close to ugly.

"Here I go," I giggled, applying everything necessary before I began to apply the actual make-up. Tori wanted to see herself in the mirror every little second and complimented me each time. Maybe if I had been anyone else, I wouldn't have had the patience for that, but I did. Patience was something that I had and I was proud of it.

Finally, I finished the make-up, took a picture of Tori and she tried to take it off but couldn't. I wanted to kick myself in the face the moment that I saw that I had bought the wrong glue. How could I do this? Was it really possible to be so stupid? The only way to fix it now was to buy the solution that Trina and I had to go on a quest for. Literally.

"Don't feel bad, Cat," Trina told me as we drove in her car. "It could have happened to anyone."

"But Tori didn't want to do it in the first place and I ruined the play now!" I replied dramatically. Yes, I did sound dramatic but I never took pride in sabotaging someone else. Even if it was on purpose. Actually, to me, it seemed like a sabotage even though I knew clearly it had been an honest mistake.

"Look, Cat, we'll get there in time. There's always the understudy."

"What about the writer, Trina?"

Then, Trina said something that really surprised the hell out of me. It caught me off-guard, truly. I didn't know that Trina had this in her. All this reminded me why I wanted to be a performer in the first place.

"Who cares? There'll be other shows. They should be outdoing themselves every single time and not just the time that the 'writer' decided to come! Actually, it doesn't matter as long as you have an audience. Isn't that the whole point? To transmit to people?" she threw her hands in the air and I almost had a heart attack. Well, my heart stopped until her hands were back on the wheel. "Tell you what. We're going to get the solution thing or whatever and then I'm going to buy you some frozen yogurt if we see a store somewhere. Don't feel bad Cat. You didn't do it on purpose, I know."

"Will we get there in time?"

"It's called a drive-through," Trina exclaimed, then winked at me.

"Thanks, Trina," I smiled at her and sunk back on the seat.

After that day, everything between Trina and I changed. We came closer to the point where right after Jade, she was the person I came to and vice-versa. Trina was really more level-headed that people thought she was. It seemed to me like this Trina was some sort of shell. I mean, why would Trina be in Hollywood Arts if she had no talent?

Something hit me then. I was talented and that's why I was in Hollywood Arts. It didn't matter who understimated you. Even if it was yourself. Did it take away the fact that I got into the school and that so had Trina? Obviously, we both have to have done _something_ right. Smiling to myself, I continued to sing the song along with Trina, refusing to say the dirty part, of course.

About a million and four phonecalls from Tori later, we got the make-up off her face before the finale. Watching Tori perform wasn't what called my attention. It was the writer in the audience, looking over at every single thing Tori was doing. If I had an opportunity to perform a play for the own writer, I would be so excited. I hoped it could happen one day. In reality, it didn't have to even be some big writer.

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><p><strong>Thanks to The Dragon of the North, StawberryAngel143, and Jeremy Shane for you reviews. :D<strong>

**It took me a while to get this up. Sorry about that. I've been really busy. I don't know how I feel about this one, but the next one will be better.**


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